First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin
The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice! Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! Burn her anyway! I dunno. Must be a king. And the hat. She’s a witch! The swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land.
I dunno. Must be a king. Oh, ow! Burn her anyway! You don’t frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits!
Now, look here, my good man. Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. Who’s that then? A newt? Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed!
First shalt thou take
Bring her forward! And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one. Well, she turned me into a newt. I’m not a witch. Camelot! I dunno. Must be a king.
Well, she turned me into a newt. Burn her anyway! Well, I didn’t vote for you. I am your king. Shut up! Will you shut up?! Well, she turned me into a newt. Well, how’d you become king, then?
The First in a series of short films, aiming to give viewers an intimate view of wild habitats across the U.K, without the use of narration or a definitive plot, allowing viewers to take what they want from the footage, illustrating as closely as possible what it is like to explore the habitat first hand.